


The more you hurt, the more you heal.

by ViscountFox



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Eren with piercings, Eren's other personality is a sarcastic little shit, Gang Leader Levi, Gang wars and stuff, Gang!AU, Levi in leather, M/M, Multiple Personalities, Police!Erwin, Pretty much everyone is in this at some point, Punk!Eren, Scars, Tattoos, Violence, both have tattoos at some point, levi x eren - Freeform, might get smutty later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-20 07:36:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1502093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViscountFox/pseuds/ViscountFox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the death of his mother, Eren Jaeger has been the victim to his father's abuse for 9 years and suffers from a rare case of Multiple Personality Disorder.<br/>After a rather unpleasant run in with a few gang members, Eren thinks he finally might have found somewhere he belongs, working along side a ruthless gang leader named Levi who looks way too good in leather.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who pissed in your cereal?

**Author's Note:**

> Well, hello there! This is my first fic posted on AO3, woop! I hope you enjoy this first chapter, it's sort of like an introduction to Eren, the next one will be from Levi's POV :)  
> Of course, any comments are appreciated! Tell me what you think!

Okay so let me first tell you that none of this was my fault.

Well, okay I may not be completely innocent but I mean hey, how was I supposed to know that I was walking into gang territory? Seriously, they should put signs up or something! Like “Hey! Don’t walk down this alley because you’ll probably get grabbed and beaten up by a bunch of lunatics!” You know, just a little warning would have been nice.

Not that walking down dark alleys is the greatest thing to be doing in my spare time but today I had been, how should I say, a little dazed?

Okay so I was completely zoned out but can you really blame me? When you live with an incredibly abusive father for 9 years, it sort of does that to you, especially when you’re sporting a fresh new bruise around your throat and several new gashes whipped across your back.

In fact, last night had probably been one of the worst beatings yet. I wasn’t sure why he did it, he was completely drunk off his head, which just made it all that much worse. I’d come home 10 minutes late from my job at a local music store and of course, my father blew his top. Not even two steps through the door and a glass bottle was shattering off my head. Sometimes it surprised me that I never passed out from the impact but I guess it happened so often now that my body was just used to it.

Then the screaming started. Shouts of rage, blame, regret. He regrets that I was ever born and blames me for my mothers death. I never shouted back, never denied what he was saying. How could I? When I know that it’s true.

He then continued with the abuse. I can’t really remember exactly what he did but I do remember shards of glass ripping through my shirt, tearing across my skin in hot flashes. Then I remember the strangling. Oh god the strangling. Thats the part I hate the most, the one part of it that actually scares me. Because it actually feels like I’m going to die. And I really don’t want to die.

Luckily for me, dad always passes out from the alcohol before he can do any permanent damage. I’m still waiting though. Waiting for the day that he doesn’t collapse on top of me and I end up a cold corpse on the floor.

Now you’re probably thinking, at the age of 19, why I haven’t just left him yet? I can’t. Why? Because he’s my father. No matter how much I hate the guy, he helped raise me for 10 years of my life (and then pretended I didn’t exist for the rest). I couldn’t just abandon the man who still couldn’t get over the death of his wife, despite how much I wanted to.

I almost got out once though. I accidentally screamed one night, the first night he’d used the belt and apparently, the neighbours heard. The police had arrived a couple of hours later but it was already too late. I had already cleaned up the blood, tidied the house and my father was completely sober. There was absolutely no evidence to prove that I was being abused.

There was this one cop though, blonde and tall with an ever-serious expression. But you could tell by his eyes, that he knew exactly what was going on. The way he watched me, blue orbs filled with concern and anger. He didn’t do anything though. Not a single damn thing.

So, after waking up at ten o’clock this morning after promptly passing out from blood loss and hauling my unconscious father back to his room, I made my escape for the day.

I was contently making my way to work, wearing my usual attire of black skinny jeans, black shirt, green zip-up hoodie and ratty converse, accompanied by a multitude of piercings and a thin scarf to atleast try to cover the bruising around my neck. I hadn't been walking long and was completely drown in thoughts of my dead mother, abusive father and adopted sister (who I forced to move out once dad became violent), that I didn't realise I had completely strayed off my path and ended up strolling down some dingy alley. When there was a sudden call of "Hey kid, what the fuck do you think your doing?", I promptly snapped back to reality to realise that I was slowly being surrounded by a group of taller, and definitely stronger men.

So here we are, with me currently in a headlock with some random bastard kicking the shit out of me. Had I not have had to put up with the abuse of my father for 9 years, I most definitely would have passed out by now.

"Holy shit, this kid is fucking tough, hasn't even passed out yet!" I'm guessing that came from the guy who currently has his foot lodged in my gut. I splutter out a cough as the wind is thrust from my lungs, hissing through the pain as the guy with his arm around my neck digs his elbow into my back, reminding me of the untreated wounds my father caused the previous night.

"Woah! What the fuck?" One of the men yell and my throat is suddenly realised and the kicking ceases as I collapse to the floor, gasping for breath and slightly confused as to why the two men are now staring down at me, slight fear etched in their faces. Then I feel a hot stickiness flood over my back and I suddenly feel slightly nauseous.

"Fuck! What did you you?" The voice I recognise from the one who had me in a headlock questions.

"I didn't do shit!" Yes, because repeatedly kicking someone in the stomach deems you completely innocent. Dick. "You're the one who fucking elbowed him in the back!"

"I barely fucking touched him!" I suddenly feel my skin exposed to the cool air as my now soaked shirt is pulled up and I start finding it rather amusing how they think they’re the cause of it all.

"Aw shit man, Levi ain’t gonna like this!"

“I ain’t gonna like what?” And just like that, a dead silence falls over the entire group as a new voice enters the conversation and footsteps echo around the alley, gradually getting closer towards me.

“Boss! W-We err...we-”

“Who’s the kid?” His voice is low and demanding but it’s smooth like velvet and melted chocolate and why the hell am I creating lame-ass metaphors in my head? Fuck, the blood loss must be getting to me.

One of the guys seems to gain some confidence from their bosses tone because when they reply it kind of sounds like they’re boasting, even though I’m pretty sure beating up a teenager isn’t really something to be proud of. “Just some stupid brat. The punk thought he could just waltz into our territory so we decided to teach him a lesson.” There’s an awkward tense silence before that soothing voice replies again.

“Did you ever think that maybe he was just lost?” There’s another silence and I actually have to repress a laugh, even though I doubt I have the energy to even speak right now, because the guy said it like it was so obvious, like he was just fed up with their assumptions.

No one answers and there’s a heavy sigh followed by that voice again, “You’re all just a bunch of idiots I swear, why do I even keep you around?” He doesn’t even give them a chance to answer before he orders them to heave me up from the floor which I’m extremely grateful for because I’m not exactly a fan of lying in disgustingly cold allyways, covered in blood. My head lolls to the side once I’m on my feet and my eyes are shut tight but there’s a very tight grip on my arm that’s verging on painful. I can faintly hear footsteps walking away, that low voice giving out orders and then I’m being shoved forward and there’s a spiteful voice at my ear.

“Fucking brat, getting me in trouble with the Boss. Don’t think I won’t find you later, you’ll get what you deserve.” Oh wow, as much fun as that sounds, I’ve kind of had enough of these assholes, gang or not, they’re pissing me off. It’s funny, because they have no idea what happens when I get pissed off. As if on cue, a very familiar voice shoots through my mind.

_**Come on Eren, you know I can take them.** _

Now I probably should have mentioned this earlier but I suffer from a little thing called ‘psychotic episodes’. My therapist says it’s a unique case of Multiple Personality Disorder, which basically means that I have two different personalities. But my case isn’t the same as most peoples, there’s lots of reasons why it’s different. For starters, my other personality isn’t really all that different, it’s just an exaggerated version of my own. More hotheaded, impulsive and a very good fighter from what I’ve observed. He calls himself ‘Titan’ mainly because he’s an egotistical ass and claims he doesn’t like my name. Bastard. I’m also completely aware of what I’m doing during my shifts and can even communicate with my other personality, I just have no control over him.

He’s been with me ever since my mom died and my therapist says it’s a defense mechanism against my dad’s abuse, even though Titan never comes out when my dad’s beating me. Which honestly, is kind of selfish. If he’s gonna live inside my body like a parasite, he should take some of the blow.

Despite the fact that it classifies me as crazy, I’m kind of glad he’s there. He always protects me during fights, talks to me when I’m feeling depressed, comforts me and tries to make me laugh. I know it’s all in my head, that he’s basically just me, but he’s like a friend, a friend I know will never leave me.

However, I really can’t be bothered to fight a whole gang right now.

**_Erennnnn, come one, let me out!_ **

_No, you’ll just embarrass me and get me in trouble like you always do._

**_No I won’t! I promise! Pleasseeeee!_ **

_No_

**_Well aren’t you just a little ray of sunshine, who pissed in your cereal?_ **

_You didn’t just get beaten up like a sack of shit!_

**_Well technically-_ **

_Don’t even start with all that psychological bullshit._

This whole conversation has taken the space of 5 seconds in my head and I’m still getting pushed forward with my eyes scrunched shut. I’m too tired and too sore to even care where I’m being taken and I feel like just dozing off whilst I’m still walking.

But then the guy next to me calls me ‘a son of a bitch’ and something inside me just snaps.

I’ve always hated that term, even if they don’t mean it, they’re calling my mother a bitch and she was anything but. My mother holds a special place in my heart that no one can replace. She died when I was only 10 years old and if I’m being honest, I’m still not completely over it. So, of course, when someone offends her, even if it’s just an off-hand comment, I usually get a bit possessive.

_Fuck it. Titan, go for it._

_**Thank youuuu, Eren!** _


	2. Leather-clad Adonis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren wakes up in an unfamiliar room and thinks he's hallucinating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg guys I am so super sorry this took so long to update and it was supposed to be in Levi's POV but I had really bad writers block for this chapter! It's also kinda on the short side but I promise the next one will be longer and hopefully quicker.  
> All I can say is I'm really really sorry :(  
> But I hope you enjoy this chapter anyway! :)

I wake up with a pounding head and a stinging back, my knuckles burning when I try to flex my fingers. I try to take in a deep breath, only to practically choke on my own spit and my mind splutters to realise that I’m lying on my stomach, my face shoved into a pillow. The space around me is completely silent and I turn my head to the side to explore my surroundings, finally opening my eyes.

It’s an extremely plain room, white ceiling, white walls and a brown carpet. The only furniture in the room seems to be the bed I’m laying on and the small chest of drawers next to it. There’s no window, no clock, no way to tell what time it is so god only knows how long I’ve been out for. It doesn’t surprise me that I passed out, with the way Titan went down on those guys. He could have let up a little though, he always seems to forget that _I’m_ the one that has to deal with the pain afterwards.

I let out a sigh, a mixture of disappointment and exhaustion. My whole body hurts but I’m sort of used to the pain. Which now that I think about it, is just wrong. I shouldn’t be used to pain, I shouldn’t have to deal with it on a daily basis. But I deserve it, don’t I?

My thoughts are cut short when the door creaks open and I hear two sets of footsteps accompanied by two voices, half way through conversation.

“He took down over 10 of my men single-handedly and you’re trying to tell me that it wasn’t him?” It’s that deep voice I recognise from the alley and a weird tingling shoots down my spine. Which really just hurts because obviously those slashes from my dad were more serious than I thought.

“It was his body, but it wasn’t actually him fighting, is what I keep telling you!” Now I _know_ that enthusiastic voice. That is a voice I have familiarised myself with for the past 9 years. That voice means safety, understanding, answers. That is the voice of my therapist.

Which begs the question; what the _hell_ is my therapist doing here? For that matter, where the hell am I?

“But I _saw_ him, I watched him with my own eyes.”

“Oh for gods sake, you’ll understand better when he explains it himself!” Hanji sounds like she’s been trying to explain to him for a while now, if the exasperation in her voice is anything to go by.

I still haven’t looked in their direction. I’m too busy staring blankly at the wall, trying to wrap my head around the situation. Hanji comes into my line of vision and seeing her cheery grin and messy brown pony tail just confuses me more and the first words out of my mouth are;

“Am I hallucinating again?” Hanji bursts out in laughter, which sounds more like a cackle than anything really. I am so majorly confused right now that I forget about the other presence in the room until an annoyed sigh grabs my attention and my confused stare shifts over to the doorway, my breath hitching.

I am looking at a god. A majestic beauty adorned in black, an angel sent from above. Okay, slight exaggeration but seriously, this guy is gorgeous. I always knew I was as straight as a U turn but I think my gayness just increased.

He’s short, just over 5 feet, but that doesn’t matter because his face screams all kinds of intimidating. His beautiful, beautiful face. Thin strands of raven hair fall over stormy grey eyes, styled into a neat undercut that just _works_ for him. His figure is small but even from here, I can see it’s packed with muscle. He’s wearing grey skinny jeans, snuggly gripping his thighs before being tucked into polished combat boots. His black v-neck clings to his torso and I can see a few piercings in his right ear. It’s all topped of with a black leather jacket that fits round his arms perfectly and god, this guy looks way too good in leather. It should be illegal. I immediately turn back to Hanji.

“Are you _sure_ I’m not hallucinating?” Because there is no way this man is real. He’s too perfect and from the information I’ve gathered so far, he also happens to be a gang leader, of sorts.

Hanji just laughs again, shaking her head. “Yes, Eren, I can assure you that you’re not hallucinating.” She’s still giggling as she says it, obviously amused by my confusion. Thanks, best therapist ever.

“Okay…” I say slowly, my eyes flickering to the man still standing in the doorway before going back to Hanji. “So what exactly are you doing here?” I now realise that I’m still lying on my stomach and make an attempt to sit up, wincing as my back strains.

“Woah there Eren, take it easy. You’re back’s in a really bad state.” I roll my eyes at Hanji’s concern and finally make it into sitting position, my legs crossed on the bed.

“Come on Hanji, you and I both know that I’ve been through worse.” Which is true. It’s kind of hard not to tell your therapist about getting abused by your father when you come in each week with a new injury. The only reason she hasn’t contacted the police is because I begged her not to. A stupid decision really but I just can’t get the idea out of my head that if I leave him, he’ll have nothing left.

“You still haven’t answered my question.” I remind her. There’s still concern held in her eyes but she seems to shove it away for now, excitedly looking over to the leather-wearing adonis.

“I’m a close friend of Levi here and after witnessing you fend of almost twenty of his men while practically drowning in your own blood, he decided to give me a call.” So his name is Levi? It’s a nice name, rolls of the tongue and if I recall, one of my attackers mentioned it before said man turned up.

Levi approaches us then, standing next to Hanji with his arms crossed and his eyes glaring down at me.

“Speaking of which, you’re going to explain to me exactly what went on out there.” He demands, his expression unwavering. It’s kind of scary really but goddammit he’s too hot. How am I supposed to be scared of someone I can’t stop staring at?

“It would also help me a lot as well, Eren. Even though I can probably guess what happened.” Hanji pipes in.

I nod slowly and sigh, gathering the memories in my head before speaking. “Well.” I start. “I was getting beat up by those two guys, which was really rude by the way, but then my back started bleeding again and they thought that they were the ones who did it, which was pretty funny really.” I chuckle slightly before continuing. “After Levi came to sort things out, one of the guys threatened to come after me which seemed to piss Titan off because he began begging to come out. I told him no though, because the little shit always messes everything up. But then when I was being dragged somewhere, I heard someone call me a son of bitch and I guess it just really made me angry. I let Titan take control after that and like always, he started enjoying himself a little too much.” I look over their faces. Hanji is nodding in understanding, listening intently and taking mental notes whilst Levi just looks even more confused than before. How can he still look so perfect whilst so confused?

“Okay, hold up.” Levi holds up one of his hands, rubbing the bridge of his nose with the other. “Who the hell is ‘Titan’?”

“Eren’s other personality.” Hanji answers, adjusting the glasses perched on her nose.

“Other personality?” He repeats incredulously, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow. Stop it, Eren. Concentrate on the conversation.

“Yeah, and he’s a fucking asshole.” I mutter, but it’s loud enough for them to hear and Hanji snorts in amusement.

_**Oi, I can hear you, yanno!** _

“Good!” I scoff. “Maybe next time you’ll take into consideration that I actually feel pain!” It takes me a second to realise that I said this out loud and I can hear Titan chuckling in my head, that bastard. I wince when I see Levi furrow his eyebrows slightly, looking at me like I’ve gone mad, which isn’t really far off the truth. I have a feeling that Titan did this on purpose purely out of spite because he’s a twat and enjoys tricking me, however that works.

“Oops.” I cringe as Hanji tries holding back her giggles. It’s happened before and she knows how embarrassed I get about it. “Sometimes I forget that he’s in my head.” I tap an index finger against my temple, shrugging.

“So you can actually speak to him?” Levi asks and there’s a tone of genuine curiosity in his voice, even if its slight, it still makes me smile slightly.

“Yeah.” I answer simply because it’s kind of hard to explain it to someone you’ve only just met. Plus, I don’t really wanna sound more crazy than I already do.

“Interesting.” He leans back against the wall, arms folded over his chest as he stares down at me. I have to force myself not to fidget because I mean, Jesus dude, this guy is _staring_ at me. And it’s fucking uncomfortable, no matter how good looking he is. I’m beginning to understand why he’s the leader of a gang if that glare is anything to go by.

“So.” I start, looking over at Hanji. “Are you here to take me home?”

“Well actually I th-”

“No.” I cut her off, knowing exactly what she was about to propose. “I am not going to a fucking hospital Hanji.They’ll just start asking questions and that’s the last thing I need right now.” I just need to go home while dad’s still passed out, patch myself up and then go to work, despite being like two hours late.

“I know…” She sighs, looking at Levi out the corner of her eye. “But that’s not what I was going to say.”

“Huh?” I look between Hanji and Levi, confused. How can two people make me so confused within the space of ten minutes? Levi kicks himself off the wall, casually making his way over to me before crouching down so we’re eye level. I am definitely _not_ dying to make a short joke right now. Nope.

“I have a preposition for you, brat.” I don’t like that nickname. At all. I am not a child, don’t treat me like one. His next words, however, knock all immature thoughts out my head.

“Join my gang.”


	3. DISCONTINUED

Finally gotten around to claiming this as DISCONTINUED !!

I'm sorry but I'm not going to be writing anymore of this. It's been too long and I'm not really that much into the fandom anymore.

The story or idea is up for adoption if you wish to continue it yourself. Just let me know.

Sorry guys, but I should be posting a Voltron fic soon if anyone is interested. Thanks for understanding~


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